Thief's Recompense

Thief's Recompense

Sarah Blue,
Words are fragile creatures
with tiny, fluttering hearts,
but still I write to you
from an aching, quiet place.

Hope is a dying ember
and I ask for no warmth,
I send these fragile, shaking creatures,
Only to give back what I took.

For days long and weary,
Nights heavy and sinking
I have breathed into a breaking bottle,
The stolen light within me.
I have felt the sharp edges
Cutting where they should
Punishing the thief
who soiled something good.

Sarah Blue,
I swear I have loved you
but I have not loved you well.
I caused you a pain
I know too well myself.

When once I had my own light stolen
I swore never to invoke this
in another innocent
Yet on that snowy night
My greedy heart forgot,
I stole from you
and poisoned myself.

Knives tempt me,
and every ledge calls my name
Yet I seek no release,
I seek the gates of hell
Speak with monsters in my dreams
I seek to know this well
and feel the depths of your pain.

I have traveled through the labyrinth of my mind
Bare feet on thorny vines
I have felt the ground beneath me fall away,
Several times slowly
I've gone insane.
Only some unfathomable fathomless love
Some love my reason knows not of
Singing through this universe
has brought me back.

I return bearing words
A message to you
A weak, pitiful gift,
Small, inadequate,
The only thing I can think to do.

Words are rags for the naked soul,
Their colors faded and stitches breaking
Words are all I have, however dull,
If I could, I would strip them from me shaking
To show you the wounded animal of my soul.

I love you Sarah Blue
I love you with all my limping, bleeding soul,
I love you with that dying ember
Smoldering in the cold.

There is no art in these words
These shreds of cloth
These thin, empty rags
There is only desperation to express
What cannot be seen or touched
This is my desperation
to express my love.

Sarah Blue,
who showed me nothing but kindness
You are beautiful
You are full of life
Full of music ringing purely
with the rhythm of the world
You are entitled to love and light
You deserve to have this wrong right.

I've broken the glowing bottle against the moon,
The light is in the lampposts
in the morning in your room
I've given the light back to the universe
to shine in every star
I pray to God it finds you
wherever you are.

Sorry is my name
With all my words I love you.

I love you Sarah Blue.